Round Two

Second day of exams. And second to the last day. The in-between. The line between good and evil (good: tomorrow, because it's Saturday. Even if there is an exam. Evil: yesterday).

Hah. Really.

To keep the long story short, today was fairly average, in the sense that the exams were not that back-breaking, and not that easy-peasy. You know, in the middle. I'm just glad tomorrow's the last day, and I hope it will be okay (I hope so, because tomorrow's Saturday, and I have this belief deep inside my heart that Saturdays are always great. Or should be great.) Now I got to stop now, because I'm really supposed to be studying right now. (I've noticed that I always say "I'm supposed to do this and that". You know my problem? Yes, you do: procrastination and lack of will power.)

Round two of the exams goes to me. I wonder why.

I'm Supposed To Be Studying Right Now

Finally, first day of exams is done and over with. Whew. The exams today were simply torturous. I do not think my sleeping late last night because of studying paid off. I trudged through Math, stumbled through Social Studies, and panicked with CLE (you see, I loathe essays). What a relief to go home and eat and do nothing but rest.

Wish that was true. Two more days of exams! So I guess I'm supposed to be studying right now, but obviously I'm not. I'm feeling very tired and lazy and sleepy. It's always like this when I study: the adrenaline rush will only come when it's near midnight and my mind will be wide awake and alert, panicking that it hasn't accomplish a thing. Time for a change. This time, I have to push myself to study NOW and not put it off until the last minute. Study, study. Sleep early!

One day down, two more to go.

Things That Go Bump in the Night

And no, I'm not talking about ghosts or poltergeists or whatever unseen supernatural beings that may lurk around us. I'm talking about the ghosts in my mind: those things that torment me and distract me from living a satisfactory life. In short, thoughts that keep me from falling asleep easily.

You see, every night when I'm in bed, trying to fall asleep, thoughts would come uninvited in my mind, giving me a million worries and regrets, making my life seem meaningless. I mean, I'd be making myself comfortable and getting ready for my journey to dreamland, when suddenly there they would come: "Hey did I do this? - Did I finish (insert whatever)? - Oh no, is tomorrow the (insert whatever)? - I think I forgot something - When I was very small, I used to (insert long-forgotten event) - I KNOW I forgot something- Someday I want to (insert whatever) - I'm so pissed with today: I mean, I was feeling great when (insert annoying event) - Funny! (insert funny scene) - Things to do tomorrow: first, (insert task), then (another task), and (task), oh and (you know the word) - Wish there's no class - Wish it would be morning, I still have to (insert errand) - Why the hell can't these things leave my mind alone?"

So, I might indeed be crazy. But don't blame me, please. I blame it on my lack of sleep because of the annoying little thoughts bombarding me. I would be very sleepy when I climb to bed, anticipating a night of rest, when the moment I lie down, these little fiends come rushing in. Often I really don't notice that I would be entertaining these thoughts, until some part of me nudges me to finally get some shut-eye.

I wouldn't be surprised if those were the fairy-folk's own doing - to prevent mere mortals from getting much-needed beauty sleep.

P. S. Alternative title for this post: "Thoughts That Go Bump In The Mind". Just a thought.

[I guess this is how thoughts overwhelm you. Pic from here.]