Countdown: The Last Half-Hour

It's war out there. Seriously. I'm becoming deaf. All those fireworks sound like bombs and gunshots. World War III.

I can't do much now, because my entire family is simply waiting for midnight. My aunts and uncles are downstairs, karaoke-ing to their heart's delight. And we've just eaten a most sumptuous dinner, by the way. The traditional sweet hamon, loads of fried chicken, meat loaf, salad, and a bilao of biko. Later we'll have Puttanesca. Heaven.

Oops, we're going up to watch the fireworks now. Ten minutes to midnight. And counting.

Note to self: Jump when midnight strikes. Maybe you'll grow taller.

Countdown to 2011: Six Hours Before Midnight

Today's the last day of 2010. The last day? The last day! The last day.

Unbelievable. Incredible. Heartbreaking. Amazing. Wow.

As of now, I'm wasting the time by sitting in front of the laptop all day. I suppose I should have done something worthwhile, something that will make this year end with a blast. Well, you know how lazy I am. That should be one of my resolutions for next year then: overcome my laziness.

Anyway. It seemed like only yesterday when we were getting ready for 2010. The world was getting ready for the new decade, complaining how the 2000s were such a flop and how it sucked, and hoping the 2010 would be better. Now this year had gone by so quickly that I couldn't remember if it was better. You know. It's crazy. I'm feeling crazy. We're all crazy.

I'm glad for 2010. I can't say it was the best; I can't say it's the worst either. It was just a great big adventure. It had lots of ups and downs, but now that I think about it, I realize I loved every moment (well, almost) and all those moments made me into what I am now. I'm just glad that I'm here, a living, breathing creature, waiting for another year. I do hope 2011 will be better than this year.

The important thing is, we survived enough to be able to see 2011. The world went through so many trials and changes, and at times it seemed like there's no reason to live and more than enough reason to break down and give up. But no. The world survived. We got through everything. Now there's a fresh, blank canvas ahead of us and all we have to do is paint a masterpiece.

Recap

My sister, Celine (I'm mentioning her name because I'm mad at her), just told me I have to write about the play festival. Oh, joy. But now that I have no idea what else to talk about, maybe that'll do.

So now, what about it? Okay. The Play Fest, of course, is a great time to learn and experience new things. It's the time when you are made to discover your own talents and skills and share them to others. It's the time when you test your limits and realize that you can be the best only if you put your heart in it. It's the time when your relationships with others are tested and how you deal with them. It's the time when you discover yourself.

What I love most about the play fest is that it's...fun. Really. No matter the pressure, the harrowing practices, the screaming of the directors, the constant bickering, the dreadful performances, it's worth it. You learn a lot, period. Experience is good.

So, that said, I'm done here. I can't wait for the next Play Fest...next year.

The Story(ies) Behind The Title

Because I had nothing else to do (and nothing else to write about) I decided to while away the time by doing some research. So I googled (or yahooed, to be exact) the title of my blog, 'Truly, Madly, Deeply'. Check out what I've found:

Truly, Madly, Deeply is a 1990 film made for the BBC's Screen Two series. The leading man happens to be Alan Rickman, who is Professor Snape in Harry Potter. According to movies.yahoo.com, this is about a bereaved woman who literally wills her dead lover (Rickman) back from the beyond. According to Wikipedia, "the title comes from a word game played by the main characters, in which they challenge each other to by turns repeat and add to a series of adverbs describing the depths of their mutual affection".

Truly Madly Deeply is a song by Australian pop band Savage Garden, released in 1997. Actually, this was where I really got the title. My sisters and I were watching Myx and it was a time of the day when they were playing 'old' songs. The title really caught my attention. And this is a very familiar song, because you always hear it on the radio and it reminds me of our maid a long time ago who always listened to it especially when ironing clothes in the evening. You know.

trulymadlydeeply.com : "Australia's premier destination for wedding invitations and bomboniere". Shop here if you're getting married.

http://www.trulymadlydeeply.biz/ : Another online store. According to the website, "Shopping heaven for every occasion and for everyone you love. Established since 2002, Truly Madly Deeply is proud to offer quality products for special occasions".

An online fashion store. Check it out, the blouses are cute.

http://www.trulymadlydeeply.org/ : Another bridal wear store.

A few information for now. I'll keep looking. But honestly, why is it that WEDDINGS are mostly associated with 'Truly Madly Deeply'?

Randomness: 'Tis The Season

Today was... GOOD. No, "good" is not enough to describe today. First, it was the second and last day of exams, so you have no idea how relieved I was. I mean, I trudged through this whole week, beating deadlines, passing this and that, studying like hell. All I wanted was for the week to end, and vacation to start. You know, the only thing that probably got me through the exams and torturous studying was the fact that they're the only way to freedom. Yeah. Endure it all.

So now, I'm glad. Christmas vacation begins! We also had our Christmas party in class, which was a blast. Everyone was happy, and it was contagious. And this afternoon, I also spent some time with my friends in the mall, and then tonight, we have this Christmas party for my dad's officemates, right in the house. As of now, I'm typing while my ears are being bombarded by people karaoke-ing (is that even a word?) outside. It isn't that bad, really.

But - yes, there's a 'but' - I'm still not completely relieved. Because... tomorrow I have this recital. Where I have to play the piano. Where I have to be in front of about a hundred people. Where I might freak out and forget what I am supposed to play. Where I will definitely make a fool of myself. Okay, calm down. I'm getting the jitters now. Butterflies in my stomach. The urge to throw up. God, I'm gonna be sick.

I guess I'd just have to... endure it. Right? One last obstacle to freedom. One more to overcome and I'll have nothing to worry about next. One last and I'm free.

Taking the whole day as a whole, I'd still say it was awesome, so thank God for it, for this season of giving and loving. If only I don't have this lump in my throat, as if I'm going to be sick. I hope not.

Wish me luck.

Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

"My words fly up, my thoughts remain below.
Words without thoughts never to heaven go. "

Hamlet by Shakespeare - Act 3, Scene 3

Praying. The above quote best describes it for me. Because, unfortunately, that's how I pray. Every night before I go to sleep, and during the day at school, and during Sundays at church, I pray. But the problem is, I don't put my heart in it. Maybe some nights, I'll pray wholeheartedly. Some nights. Especially when I need something. But at other times, I get distracted by too many things. At school, I don't take prayer seriously. At church, I don't pay attention; I daydream. My words go in the air, and I'm just wasting my breath because I put little thought in them. So I guess God does not hear prayers said without thought, or heart, or soul.

Lesson learned? Pray with your heart, not with your mouth.

Time is making fools of us again.

Time. How cruel is it? Seriously. I feel like I woke up today and realized suddenly that it was December. I mean, I KNEW it was December (duh), but it was only today when I was really hit by the realization that 2010 is indeed coming to a close. I couldn't believe it. It seemed like only yesterday when we celebrated New Year's Day. And now...?

Time flies fast indeed. Like a light breeze that you enjoy too much so you become sleepy and lazy, wasting time. Or like a lightning bolt, jolting you awake now and then to make you act for once. Or like a whisper in the wind, which you strain to hear even when the wind carries it away.

We run after time, as it runs away, laughing and mocking us. I guess that's why we're fools.

Isn't it strange that when we're enjoying what we're doing, that's when time goes by most quickly? And when we hate what we're presently doing, time seems to drag on forever? Like during boring lessons, I would often glance at the time and would see that barely a minute has passed when it seemed like a century. That was torture. But here's another thing. When we want more time, the opposite happens: it speeds up like crazy. Like when I'm nearly late for school, I would move as fast as I can, and when I think I'm beating time to the finish line, I glance at my watch and...I'm late.

Like this week, for example. I can't wait for Christmas vacation to come, so I'm just excited. Bad move. Time seems to want some fun. It's because I couldn't believe how slow the days are moving. Seriously. It's only Tuesday today. Last week, the days flew by. Now, I feel like Christmas vacation is a million years into the future.

I'm not saying that time is an enemy. I think it's ourselves. We make ourselves slaves to time, when we are the ones who MAKE time. The thing is, we probably just can't help ourselves.

make time.

"It's a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up." ~J.K. Rowling

Thank God It's Friday

Cool one. This photo really describes my day. I woke up and felt like the world was meaningless. Why the hell should I go to school? I was in a not-so-good mood at school, and I somehow felt annoyed at little things. What's that word? Oh, "picayunish" (though I'm not so sure about the spelling.). And then, as the day went on it slowly, eventually, maybe, turned better. We make ourselves. Right? We make our day. Not stupid fate or whatever. It's all about attitude.

Note to self: The world may be empty of meaning but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.

Pic from here.

Moons Can Be Cool Too

A full moon rises behind the art deco spire of the old Kansas City and Light building in downtown Kansas City, Mo. Sunday, Oct. 24, 2010(AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

I saw this photo while reading an article entitled The Really Strange Story Behind Sunday's Blue Moon which has got to be the most boring and senseless article I've ever read, no offense. It was about blue moons, but some parts might have been interesting and useful too (like the real reason why 13 is unlucky. From the article: 'Occasionally, however, there will come a year when there are 13 full moons during a year, not the usual 12. The almanac explanation continued:

"This was considered a very unfortunate circumstance, especially by the monks who had charge of the calendar of thirteen months for that year, and it upset the regular arrangement of church festivals. For this reason thirteen came to be considered an unlucky number."')

Well, back to the photo. I just think it's cool, with the silhouette of the house (an art deco?) against an enormous full moon. It looks straight out of a horror movie, with the art deco looking like a dilapidated mansion complete with spires. All that's missing is a flash of lightning. And the size of the moon. I've never seen a moon like that, except in movies. I mean, it looks like you can almost touch it or as if it's going to devour you any second. Wish I see a moon like this here. But it might also freak me out.

Two words: Creepily cool.

Booked

Last week, I read two fairy tale retellings:

The Night Dance, by Suzanne Weyn:

This is a novel so it really gave life and flesh to the story The Twelve Dancing Princesses. I loved the plot of the story and how it was set in the time of King Arthur (the leading man here is a knight of Arthur). But what I don't like is the language. Well, you know, how the novel is written. It was dragging at the start, the language seemed stilted, and the ending was too abrupt and hurried for my own liking. It was like the characters were facing this big problem one minute, then the next minute, they're all having their happy ending. I mean, the story seemed to turn comical and cliched towards the end. And the author keeps repeating how the heroine is so beautiful and special all that, and the hero is so handsome and brave. It's just kinda annoying. But anyway, it was fun to read. I'll give it 3 stars.

The other book is loads better. This is Princess Sonora and the Long Sleep, by Gail Carson Levine. This is the opposite of the The Night Dance, mainly because it was so enjoyable to read. Original. It's an interesting take on Sleeping Beauty. I was just laughing reading it. Actually, this is my youngest sister's book, so it's for little kids, but it's sort of a novella. Hilarious. Really. 5 stars!

Now I'm done with fairy tale retellings, I've moved on to magic and wizards. Yeah, I 'm reading the last book in the Harry Potter series now. I received this three years ago, but it's only now that I've decided to really read it. Besides, the 7th movie is coming to theaters this week! I want to read the book first before watching the movie. Movies always spoil great books.

31 Days Later

I'm back. And I can't believe that it's been exactly a month: last post was on Oct. 8 and now it's Nov. 8. What a coincidence that it's only today that I've finally decided or found time to post again. I mean, I just felt so... lazy. So now, I'm going to make up for everything. My resolution: post everyday! Piece of cake. (Really?)

So much had happened these past 31 days: activities in school, or just plain regular lessons, sem. break (awesome and boring and okay), to name a few. I actually don't remember a lot (isn't it funny that we sometimes forget our thoughts when we try to write them down? You know. They seem to shy away from you. Then when you don't think about this and that, they bother you). Oh, I also remember my mother had come back from Europe. She looked just like when she left (except maybe that she gained some weight. A little). Anyway, life's back to normal, or as normal as it was before.

So one word to describe everything? (Not only because Christmas is in the air now. But that can be a reason too...)

Cool.

Round Two

Second day of exams. And second to the last day. The in-between. The line between good and evil (good: tomorrow, because it's Saturday. Even if there is an exam. Evil: yesterday).

Hah. Really.

To keep the long story short, today was fairly average, in the sense that the exams were not that back-breaking, and not that easy-peasy. You know, in the middle. I'm just glad tomorrow's the last day, and I hope it will be okay (I hope so, because tomorrow's Saturday, and I have this belief deep inside my heart that Saturdays are always great. Or should be great.) Now I got to stop now, because I'm really supposed to be studying right now. (I've noticed that I always say "I'm supposed to do this and that". You know my problem? Yes, you do: procrastination and lack of will power.)

Round two of the exams goes to me. I wonder why.

I'm Supposed To Be Studying Right Now

Finally, first day of exams is done and over with. Whew. The exams today were simply torturous. I do not think my sleeping late last night because of studying paid off. I trudged through Math, stumbled through Social Studies, and panicked with CLE (you see, I loathe essays). What a relief to go home and eat and do nothing but rest.

Wish that was true. Two more days of exams! So I guess I'm supposed to be studying right now, but obviously I'm not. I'm feeling very tired and lazy and sleepy. It's always like this when I study: the adrenaline rush will only come when it's near midnight and my mind will be wide awake and alert, panicking that it hasn't accomplish a thing. Time for a change. This time, I have to push myself to study NOW and not put it off until the last minute. Study, study. Sleep early!

One day down, two more to go.

Things That Go Bump in the Night

And no, I'm not talking about ghosts or poltergeists or whatever unseen supernatural beings that may lurk around us. I'm talking about the ghosts in my mind: those things that torment me and distract me from living a satisfactory life. In short, thoughts that keep me from falling asleep easily.

You see, every night when I'm in bed, trying to fall asleep, thoughts would come uninvited in my mind, giving me a million worries and regrets, making my life seem meaningless. I mean, I'd be making myself comfortable and getting ready for my journey to dreamland, when suddenly there they would come: "Hey did I do this? - Did I finish (insert whatever)? - Oh no, is tomorrow the (insert whatever)? - I think I forgot something - When I was very small, I used to (insert long-forgotten event) - I KNOW I forgot something- Someday I want to (insert whatever) - I'm so pissed with today: I mean, I was feeling great when (insert annoying event) - Funny! (insert funny scene) - Things to do tomorrow: first, (insert task), then (another task), and (task), oh and (you know the word) - Wish there's no class - Wish it would be morning, I still have to (insert errand) - Why the hell can't these things leave my mind alone?"

So, I might indeed be crazy. But don't blame me, please. I blame it on my lack of sleep because of the annoying little thoughts bombarding me. I would be very sleepy when I climb to bed, anticipating a night of rest, when the moment I lie down, these little fiends come rushing in. Often I really don't notice that I would be entertaining these thoughts, until some part of me nudges me to finally get some shut-eye.

I wouldn't be surprised if those were the fairy-folk's own doing - to prevent mere mortals from getting much-needed beauty sleep.

P. S. Alternative title for this post: "Thoughts That Go Bump In The Mind". Just a thought.

[I guess this is how thoughts overwhelm you. Pic from here.]

Best Week Ever (?)

Stupid, stupid computer. There was no Internet connection for the whole weekend! My goal of writing straight for weeks is gone. You know, I really thought I could easily catch up, and maybe I could tweak the dates to make it look like I was updating everyday (but who's being fooled? Myself.), but when a day passed and I wasn't able to post, the next day and then the next, I really felt lazy. I lost the motivation. I had posted for nearly two weeks straight and because of skipping a day - one day, mind - I became too lazy to write again, like how I was some weeks back. I'd have to start from scratch again. Bummer.

Complaining again. Anyway, let me tell you how I've got a hectic week ahead. Well, who doesn't have? I scrolled through my dashboard and guess what, almost everyone's complaining of the loads of things to do. Will it matter if another soul complains too? Now I guess I'm joining the ranks of pressured, haggard juniors ranting out their trials and tribulations.

For one, there's the "talumpati" for CAF (still struggling with it), a soliloquy for CAE (turns me to jelly when I think of it), a book report (reading Jane Eyre; I'm only at page 78, out of 565 pages. Yikes), a few deadlines, a few mastery tests, and a few other little things. Not to mention exams next week (already!). Yes, a few little things. Easy-peasy. Being a junior is a blast.

God help us.

Words, Words, Words:They simply fly in the air

"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."

-Cherokee expression

"It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye."

-The Call by Regina Spektor

A Dog Story 2: Missed Me? -said the poodle

He was lost, and now he was found. He was dead and now he is alive.

Yes. Ren-ren's back! Safe, sound, and a tad shaken, but alive. And home.

Mang Claro found him this morning at our neighbor's house. The story was that the neighbor found him, took him, and caged him. Apparently he was the one barking last night. And we thought it was only a haluccination, that our shocked brains were tricking us. I could just imagine the horror that Ren-ren went through last night, locked up and alone. He must have nearly gone mad.

So this morning, just before we went to school, he was back. My little sister was so overjoyed that she cuddled and carried him all around the house. I could tell our yayas were totally relieved. When we left the house, they were fawning over him and wouldn't even allow him out of the front door. Unfortunately, I didn't get to pet him or what because I was too much in a hurry. All I remember is Ren-ren in Regine's arms, and if I'm not mistaken, he was happy. If dogs can smile, maybe he'll be grinning from ear to ear, with a look that says, "Missed me?"

Well, well, we sure learned our lesson. We'll be paying attention to you now, Ren-ren. No need to get jealous of the other dogs. Next time, please, don't do this again! You'll make us all insane.

Now everything can go back to normal. Thank God you're home.

A Dog Story: Missing Poodle

Missing. Lost. Gone. Perhaps even dead.

Where is he? Where is Ren-ren, our poodle? Where, where, where? Wish he'd come back.

Today totally sucked. When I got home from school, I found out that Ren-ren's missing. No one saw him go, no one saw him taken, no one knew where he went, no one knew where he is right now. In a minute, the whole house was on fire, with everyone searching for Ren-ren. Papa went around the streets, asking for him. My sisters went too, riding in the car and yelling Ren-ren's name, stopping at every bark of a dog. The yayas were frantic, because of course they were here all day so they were responsible for Ren-ren.

Lord, we miss Ren-ren. My little sister was nearly hysterical already, crying and blaming the yayas. She even made a video of herself, reporting, "ACTV News...This morning, a dog was...He is Ren-ren (sob)...Please, if you find him (sniff. cry.)...return him to us...reward is P1000...!"

The rest of the night is spent in misery. As of now, while I'm typing here, Papa is still going out and looking for him. My sisters and I are already reminiscing about the good times with Ren-ren, looking at photos and telling each other stories about the last time we saw him. I in particular remember how I wouldn't let him enter the house and would shoo him away.

It's as if he's dead. But, Lord, please don't take him yet. He's still alive, somewhere out there, probably missing us. He'd go crazy without us.

He was our first dog. I remember how he first came to us as a little cottonball of fur, all sweet and adorable. He grew up with us; we grew up with him. Oh no. I just remembered! It was his 7th birthday on September 19, and we forgot. Each one of us. God, I feel so guilty.

What if Ren-ren got tired of us and got mad because we forgot his birthday so he went off and vowed to never return? Or what if he saw another dog and his basic instincts took over him so he chased after that dog and got lost? Or what if someone found him, roaming in the rain, and took him away? Or worse, what if someone stole him, to sell him, or to turn him to dinner?

We were all imagining the endless possibilities of what happened to him. Just some minutes ago, we heard barking from a nearby house. We began thinking that it might be him. Maybe it's just a figment of our depressed minds. Like just a second ago, I thought he barked right outside the door.

Lesson learned: We only realize the value of something when it's taken away from us. Like Ren-ren. He was old already and we didn't pay him that much attention compared to when he was a pup, because we have younger, more energetic puppies right now. Old Dog was forgotten.

So now that we learned our lesson, can you please come home now, Ren-ren?

"To Mama: I miss you so much, I wish you're back."

A poem my sister wrote, and her drawing. (Note: She wrote everything. I didn't change a word. Just so you know...) For mama and mothers all over the world:

My mother is like a sun

that makes me shine.

My mom is my guardian

that leads me to the right way/path.

My mom cheers me up when I feel bad.

My mom is like my doctor and nurse

who heals my wounds.

I miss her so much,

I wish she's back.

By: Regine Anne S. Lacanienta

Mommy, I love you!

Love: Regine your beautiful daughter

Randomness: Plain Rambling

Yippee! Today, September 19, Sunday, I am celebrating ten straight days of posting in my blog. Hah. Obviously, today's the 10th day and I am proud of myself for blogging at least once a day these past days. Well, I know some people blog so many times a day, but for me this is an achievement because I don't usually have this determination. I mean, ten days ago I made a goal that I will post everyday and with sheer perseverance, I did it. Now you might think ten days are too short and I should only be congratulating myself when I've reached ten months (or ten years. Or maybe never.). But never mind. This is just to motivate myself. Now blogging once a day has become a part of my daily routine. Though it's kind of hard, you know, because you have to have lots of ideas, and sometimes I just become stuck. But writing (I'll just call it writing instead of blogging; it sounds more...encouraging. Whatever.), as I have said before, is the best medicine indeed.

Oh no, I'm rambling again. Let's move on to more important matters. First and foremost, I have no idea what to write about today (well, considering the lengthy paragraph above, maybe I do have some idea) and I'm just going to settle on plain ranting and rambling. Second, I'll ramble for a while now.

Today is Sunday and homework day for me, but now it's past six in the evening and I haven't done anything at all. Heaven help me. I woke up very late and then I spent the whole day finishing a novel. I've finished it now, by the way. But after finishing it I realized, I'm dead. I've wasted my whole day! Hey, not really.

Anyway, I got to end here. We're still going to church. I'll be praying for the night ahead of me, that I will be saved from my father's wrath when he sees me still doing homework. And that I may sleep a little early. Eleven will do.

Play The Black and White Notes Together

I love Saturdays. Aside from the fact that it's weekend and it's my free day from school (as a rule, I don't do my homework on a Saturday. Just so you know.), I also have my piano lesson. Now who is happy sitting down for an hour and playing the piano nonstop with a teacher looming over you?

I am. Well, happy with the playing-the-piano part, that is. I am happy when I sit down in front of the piano and I play away for hours and I don't even realize how much time had passed. I am happy when the seemingly lifeless and challenging notes in front of me come to life, the sounds flying in the air and filling me from head to toe with satisfaction. I am happy when at the end of a hard day at school, I come home and let out everything by playing the piano. God knows how much life loses its meaning without it. Really.

So the happy-with-the-piano part now settled, let's go to what I don't like about it. What I'm not happy about it: playing a new piece.

Like today, for example. I got a new piece to study and it just sucks when it's the first time you see a piece and you have no clue how to play it. You painstakingly try. What happens is that you trudge through every note, pausing here and there, trying to make sense out of the crazy jumble. It's frustrating, you know. So with my new piece, a sonatina, I want to scream. It's my assignment for next week and I find it so hard to play. All Greek to me.

Gawd, I'm complaining. I should shut up now. But you know what? I guess practice does make perfect. And a new piece is good so I won't be stuck playing the same thing all over and over again. Right? Besides, the good things far outnumber the bad ones. Focus on the good and practice to get the torture over and done with.

I'll play the piece a thousand times over and over again, so wish me luck.

A quote to inspire me:
"If you want to make beautiful music, you must play the black and the white notes together. "
-Richard Nixon

Aye, Mr. Nixon.

Dare To

Dare to...
Ask for what you want.
Believe in yourself.
Change your mind.
Do what you love.
Enjoy each and every day.
Follow your heart's desire.
Give more than you receive.
Have a sense of humor.
Insist on being yourself.
Join in more.
Kiss and make up.
Love and be loved.
Make new friends.
Nurture your spirit.
Overcome adversity.
Play more.
Question conformity.
Reach for the stars.
Speak your truth.
Take personal responsibility.
Understand more, judge less.
Volunteer your time.
(e)X-perience the moment.
Yearn for grace.
Be zany.

By Meiji Stewart

The Problem's With Myself

"Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings. "

- Julius Caesar Act I, Scene II

Simple, isn't it? Oh well, if not, here's the quote in plain english then (from here):

Men can control their destinies. The reason that we are oppressed, dear Brutus, is not a matter of fate, but because we don't do anything about it.

Got it? Good.

I found this quote particularly striking. It's like the quote is speaking to all of mankind, that we should stop being lazy brats who don't do anything to make a difference in the world.

We are the ones who control our own destiny, not heavenly powers. The problem is, when something goes wrong, we put all the blame on God or on Cruel Fate (does "why me?" sound familiar?), not realizing that our own selves are the ones to blame. It is our fault that we become underlings, or slaves to fate, waiting for things to happen. We don't have enough resolve to take action.

So dear friend, quit sitting around and praying for blessings. I mean, praying's all good and fine, but pray and pray and do nothing, and what do you get? Nothing. When something's wrong, when we want something, then let's go and do something about it.

Make things happen, instead of sitting on the sidelines. Another quote from the Bard: Nothing comes of nothing.

Simple, huh? Wish it was easier done than said.

Custard + Macaroons = Custaroons!

Delicious, mouth-watering merienda today. Papa brought home some pasalubong from Manila, as he usually does, and today we have two little boxes of some so-called "Custaroons", by Gigi Gaerlan (the name of the bakery perhaps). So what do you do when there's a box full of soft, fluffy, tiny yellow macaroons coated with custard, that looks straight from heaven?

Eat it, of course. So I took a bite.

And what a bite it was. The minute it entered my mouth, I was in seventh heaven. I could almost hear a chorus of angels singing in the background, and for a second, for one heavenly moment, I sat still and didn't breathe. The custaroon melted instantly in my mouth, but I could still feel the grainy bits. It was so sweet and luscious that I didn't want to swallow it straight down my throat.

From that moment on, I knew I wanted to eat custaroons forever.

"Help! How do you swallow a pill?"

This is my sister's usual cry of despair every night when we have to take our iron supplements. It is always plain torture to her. Every night she has to endure hours -yes, hours! - of trying to gulp down the pea-sized pill (which has already been chopped into quarters. Now how big is that?).

Every night: She would sit at the table, take a deep breath, put the pill on the middle of her tongue - but she'd show it to us first, saying, "Is it in the middle already? Or should I put it farther back?" - and her face would be filled so much agony you'd think she's going to die. Then she would take a big gulp of water, and instead of swallowing, she'd keep the pill swimming around in her mouth, her cheeks big and round, and her face scrunched up in concentration. Then if she'd be lucky - mind you, that would be a miracle - she would have enough guts to swallow it all down and move on to the next bit. But if she couldn't bear it anymore, or maybe my little sister had just made a face (to annoy her), she'd simply gag and spit it all out. Sometimes spraying things around her. Which is a bit gross, you know.

It was always a scene at our house, with our Manangs cheering and saying they're her fans. Before the complicated procedure of her taking the pill, she would always lament on why she was so... cowardly. Yeah, that's what she would always say. Too afraid of choking that she forgets how to swallow.

"How can I do this if my mind is scaring me and telling me I'll choke?!" Then she'll go on on how her tongue becomes paralyzed, that she doesn't trust it all. Then tonight, she told us about a story she read in school: how a girl died because of choking from Gummy Bears.

"She choked on Gummy Bears! And that's soft, so what more with this hard, teeth-breaking pill?!"

So tonight it took her extra long, the Gummy Bear Story still stuck in her mind. Manang took pity on her so she crushed the pill and dissolved it in water. But she still didn't want to take it, because of the bitter taste. Another suggestion was to swallow it together with bananas. No way. I'll choke more! she said.

She now considers it as one of her greatest problems right now (she also requested to save her from embarrassment by not mentioning her name here. Hah.) and she would say, wide-eyed and scared, "Does it mean I have a weak personality?"

The thing is, I have no idea what to say. Where did she get that personality thingy?

Probably from me, as a way of making her swallow the pill (she doesn't like having a weak personality. I think.). But never mind.

She'll get through it. If she's lucky. God bless her.

The Cuteness Factor

I'm in love with two super cute cartoon characters! See pic above. Don't dare tell me it's not adorable. Here's more:

Aww...

"Catch me!"

"Can't help it."

So who are they? You might have never seen them or heard of them, and I hadn't too, until this weekend, when I discovered them on a website. I instantly fell for the cuteness and simplicity of the cartoons, and the two's love-hate relationship with each other.

Introducing Pon and Zi, two emo cartoon characters...

Check out more photos here: http://www.ponandzi.com/.

Writer's Block Makes You Go Crazy

Write. Anything. Write. Something. Write, write, write. Write whatever. Write...what? The thing is, I've run out out of ideas now. A major, major problem right now for me: writer's block. Or maybe blogger's block. Or how about... never mind, I have no idea anymore.

These days I've been trying to post everyday, and I've done it for two days straight (a milestone) so I'm trying to keep the good work up for a week or two (why not more?). Posting daily? Geez, that is so easy-peasy. Hah. Seems like it is, but once you're in front of the computer and there's the white blank space, your brain suddenly stops producing neurons, resulting in much staring ahead and drooling and wondering what on earth are you supposed to do.

Write, of course, a tiny part of your brain that is still mercifully functioning says. Then it goes again, oh what were you planning to write anyway? No idea? Good. Don't pressure me for ideas. Give me a rest!

Cut! I am now in a major breakdown moment. Have I gone crazy now? I mean, one minute I'm describing what happens with writer's block, then the next minute I'm babbling and hearing voices. My brain's voice, that is. And my brain seemed to be arguing with itself. Not sure.

Writer's block really does make one crazy. But you know what the best medicine is (proven and tested, but beware of side effects. Proof above)?

Write. And write some more.

Braces Suck. Seriously.

Braces. They hurt like hell. My head aches from the pain, my body restless and complaining. There is the familiar, burning sensation that nearly drives me mad. It's as if someone is pulling my teeth off, or as if someone punched me a thousand times, or as if my every tooth has a toothache. Oh why, why, why did braces have to be invented?

I now sit in front of the computer, typing away, trying to distract myself from the twinges of pain. From time to time I swallow some oatmeal - I've just taken a mouthful - and they offer me a little moment of relief. Ah, oatmeal, comfort food from the gods.

I know braces are for my own good. Every month I go to the dentist, and my teeth are squeezed together, pressed, battered, you name it. My mother said that it's worth it, because in the end I will have a set of perfect, sparkling, white teeth. (Well, I hope the part about sparkling, white teeth comes really true).

I feel very low today because of this teeny tiny discomfort. Spilling it all out eases the burden somehow. No pain, no gain. No braces, no perfect smile. (As if =D...)

Gotta go. My family is planning to watch "Vampires Suck" at the cinemas tonight. Seriously. How about "Braces Suck"?

Oatmeal, here I come. Yum.

I Dream, Therefore I Exist.

(above quote by August Strindberg, A Madman's Defense)

Today my mother goes to Paris. No, scratch that: she's already there (she had just texted). And here I am, stuck at home, suffering from boredom. Wish I went with her.

Unfortunately that couldn't be. My mother will be in Europe for a month, staying with her brother in Amsterdam. Lucky her. She'll be travelling in Europe! If only it was summer, if only it wasn't too costly... I might be there myself.

Anyway, no time for wishful thinking. It's good for mama that she's having a long vacation. No pesky little kids and whiny daughters. It's a break, and she'll come back grinning from ear to ear, with some souvenirs, pasalubong, and lots of photos.

One day I'm going there too. One day I'll be travelling all over the world. One day I'll be in Paris. One day, one day.

Why Paris? Well, it's on my top 100 places to visit before I die. I just love everything French, and Paris is somehow the place where people go to and dreams come true. In movies and books, that is. Is it the same in real life?

Wishful, wishful thinking. Dreams. All dreams. A girl can dream. But she'll have to work hard for that. Right?

To self: "Nothing happens unless first we dream."(Carl Sandburg)

To mama (who's probably having the time of her life there):

We miss you! Love, your whiny daughters.

Love Is A Beast.

Hey guys, check this out!


A must watch, right?Oh well, if you didn't bother to watch the video (yes, I know. I'm like that too. Why bother? Oh please, don't take me too seriously), then let me give you the lowdown.

Basically, Beastly is a modern-day Beauty and the Beast, set in the 21st century, right there in New York. Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite fairytales ever, so I'm really looking forward to this. By the way, this is simply based on a novel. The author is Alex Flinn, who has written some modern fairytale retellings before. Normally I'm not really enthusiastic with movies taken from books, because in movies plots are sometimes changed, some other creature is added, lots of things are removed, or whatever, that leads to the ruin of a good book. But now this movie seems promising. So why not give it a shot?

Here's the book:
My sister has this book and I just can't wait to read it! Too bad she won't let me borrow it now (she said that she'll have to be the first one to read it. But she can't stop me).

So who's "Beauty"? Brace yourself, it's Vanessa Hudgens. Really. When I first found out, I was really bummed. I mean, surely there are other girls out there who'll suit the role more perfectly. I couldn't imagine what the movie will be like. For me, it only spelled disaster.

But again, because I seem to be feeling merciful when it comes to Beastly (with all the giving chances thingy), I'm trying to be open-minded and I'm just hoping she'll be great.

Now who's the "Beast"? Someone named Alex Pettyfer who I've seen only once before in another movie. Some of my friends like him a lot and I'm torn. Hah.

Now all that's left is seeing the movie. But I'm reading the book first.


Postscript: This was supposed to be released on July 2010, but has been pushed back to 2011. Major bummer, if you ask me. Hey, at least I'll have time to read the book.

Made My Day

This afternoon we watched a puppet show by the Tali-Galaw Group from Manila (I'm not quite sure about their name or the spelling, but anyway...) and it was somewhere between fascinating and dragging. For me, that is. I don't know with you.

Flashback. I was really clueless about what we were all doing there in the Hall. I mean, it was packed, with the little kids there, and I knew each one of us also had little or no idea what's in store for us.

Well, I was in for a rocky ride. In the first show, the Ifugao Dance, I was wide awake. It was absolutely hilarious. Everyone was laughing hysterically at the string puppets dancing like real Igorots. In fact, from afar they eerily looked like real people. Seriously.

Then a show about the environment came next. The voices were so cute and the puppets so adorable that they made us sigh and go "awww...".

A show about Philippine festivals followed, including the games and traditions. The ride was becoming rocky by then because everyone was laughing like mad at the puppets. One was going up and down a pole in a funny way, another was hanging already from the pabitin (headless already), and yet another was trying to hit a palayok blindfolded, but instead it went around like a headless chicken and hit the other puppet. And then more traditions were shown.

After that was Ibong Adarna. I was looking forward to it but I was quite bummed because it only made me sleepy. Plus, the students were fast losing interest. The ride was rockier.

Then a show about our country's long history of fighting for freedom came next. This time there were two hand puppets narrating. I couldn't appreciate it much since I couldn't hear clearly, what with all the noise. It seemed pretty funny, anyway.

Last but not the least was the Buto-buto band (the puppets looked like skeletons. Or maybe they really were). Somehow everyone paid attention once again as the puppets rock-and-rolled on the stage, headbanging and going wild (one puppet kicked his piano off the stage and broke his foot in the process). It was rockin' hilarious.

So all in all, I'd give them a 9 out of 10. Though it became boring with the last two shows or so, it was still pretty cool and awesome. The puppets were well done and you could tell they really prepared. Plus, the music was great too. You know, I feel really guilty that we didn't pay much attention. I mean, it was obvious they put a lot of effort in doing the show, for our enjoyment. And what grateful brats we were.

Rocky ride comes to an end here. But I know I'll miss those adorable, uproarious puppets that tickled my funny bone. It made my day.

Sonnet 145: I Hate...Not You

Those lips that Love's own hand did make,

Breathed forth the sound that said 'I hate',

To me that languished for her sake:

But when she saw my woeful state,

Straight in her heart did mercy come,

Chiding that tongue that ever sweet

Was used in giving gentle doom;

And taught it thus anew to greet;

'I hate', she altered with an end,

That followed it as gentle day,

Doth follow night, who like a fiend

From heaven to hell is flown away.

'I hate', from hate away she threw,

And saved my life, saying 'not you'.

Randomness: A Sip of Sentimentality

Things that just cluttered my mind so I had to let it out. No connection to my life right now. =) I don't even know what's the purpose of all these words. But as the title says, randomness rules. Write whatever.

You smile, and I smile

Clearly, we're meant to be.

***

I looked out the window

Saw the raindrops

And I thought I saw you out there

But you were just a dream

A figment of my imagination.

***

O Romeo, Romeo

Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

'Tis midnight and the moon is hidden

Wilt thou hide from me too?

Methinks thou have forgotten

But I have not

Thou may not be Romeo

But I will wait

For thou art my only heart.

***

Good things never last that long

But with you nothing can go wrong.

***

One and one makes two

But go away because I hate you.

;P

Summoning the Dead

Just finished reading this book a few hours ago. It was awesome: deliciously, chillingly, hauntingly awesome.

The heroine is Chloe Saunders and she had a basically normal life...until she started seeing ghosts. So she gets shipped off to Lyle House, a group home for troubled teens. For teens with mental disorders. But the home isn't what it seems. Apparently there are dangerous, deadly secrets behind Lyle House and its residents. And it's up to Chloe to find them out...before its skeletons come back to haunt her.

So to make it simpler:

-girl sees ghosts

-girl ends up in a home for troubled teens

-girl meets housemates (who all have dark secrets)

-ghosts and trouble follow

-girl has to save herself or end up in a real mental hospital... or get killed.

I really loved the horror and the suspense in the story. I got goosebumps reading some parts, and it kept me wide awake into the night.

A whole new series to get addicted to! Can't wait to read the sequel.

A must-read, people. A must-read.

How to make homemade ice cream in a plastic bag

No ice cream? No problem! You probably have the ingredients at home to whip some up.

You Will Need
Two resealable plastic bags, one gal.-sized and one qt.-sized
1/2 c. reduced-fat or whole milk
1 1/2 to 2 tbsp. of sugar
1/2 tsp. of vanilla extract or 1 tbsp. of cocoa powder
2 trays of ice cubes
6 tbsp. salt
Waterproof winter gloves
Chocolate or butterscotch chips
Flavored syrups
Flavoring extracts

Step 1: Put ingredients in smaller bag
Put the milk and sugar in the quart-sized bag and seal it. For vanilla ice cream, add vanilla extract; for chocolate ice cream, add cocoa powder. Throw in a quarter of a cup of chocolate or butterscotch chips if you like.
Experiment with other varieties by using ½ to 1 tsp. of flavored syrups like strawberry or caramel or extracts like lemon or almond.

Step 2: Make an ice bag
Put the ice and the salt in the gallon-sized bag.

Step 3: Put small bag inside big one
Put the smaller bag inside the bigger bag and seal it.

Step 4: Shake it
Shake the larger bag vigorously for seven to 10 minutes.
Wear winter gloves while you shake; the bag is cold!

Step 5: Enjoy
Remove the small bag, which now contains ice cream. Snip a hole in the corner of the bag and squeeze it into a dish. Makes one serving.

I'd love to try this especially when it's very hot. No need to buy outside! :)

Source: http://www.howcast.com/videos/183161-How-To-Make-Homemade-Ice-Cream-in-a-Plastic-Bag

Lights, Camera, Action

Last night, my family and I went to the mall to watch (drumroll, please) "Eclipse". Yup, good ol' "Eclipse", the third installment of the immortal "Twilight" saga. I didn't really watch it because I'm a Twihard and I'll die if I don't. Actually, I just watched out of curiosity and my obligation to my family (read: bonding on Sundays). So you can guess my feelings. Half looking forward to it, half groaning from the prospect of watching another cheesy, boring Twilight movie (sorry to my sister, who loves Twilight, and Edward. Or Jacob. Or both.).

But soon I found myself in the cinema, fidgeting around and trying to grab some of the food (we were all like vampires. Or werewolves. Either.). Then the movie started.

I must admit, it wasn't that bad. In my opinion, I think Eclipse is the best of the three movies so far. Finally, a Twilight movie that makes some sense and doesn't make my head spin. I really enjoyed watching it, especially the scenes with lots of action.

Once upon a time, I also had a mad obsession with Twilight. First year. I kept hearing this vampire book from my classmates, and out of curiosity I checked it on the Internet. I went to the website, read what was it all about, and then poof. I was suddenly caught in the Twilight fever. I wanted to read the book but I didn't have one yet so I spent all my time in front of the computer, trying to know more and more about those vampires. Boy, that only increased my hunger for it. I kept thinking about it. I couldn't get enough. I wanted the book.

I was addicted. Truly, madly, deeply.

Finally, my uncle gave me the book as a gift, and when I had it I couldn't put it down. I wanted to keep reading and to drink in every word. I wanted to devour it.

But you know how it went. Months later, the hunger and obsession faded away. I sort of got tired with it all, so I moved to other books.

I'd have to thank it though. Haven't you noticed that because of Twilight's popularity, hundreds of vampire and supernatural books have sprouted (now most of our books at home have black covers) and there is a renewed interest in reading? All thanks to Stephenie Meyer.

Now I couldn't imagine life without Twilight. Or vampires.

Let's just stare at each other forever.

Boo!

She didn't like it at all when her father had to go down to London and, for the first time, she had to sleep alone in the old house. She went up to her bedroom early. She turned the key and locked the door. She latched the windows and drew the curtains. Then she peered inside her wardrobe, and pulled open the bottom drawer of her clothes press; she got down on her knees and looked under the bed.

She undressed; she put on her nightdress.

She pulled back the heavy linen cover and climbed into bed. Not to read but to try and sleep - she wanted to sleep as soon as she could. She reached out and turned off the lamp.

"That's good," said a little voice. "Now we're safely locked in for the night."

-by Kevin Crossley-Holland (British Folk Tales)

Words to Live By

I like these inspiring, awesome words from some songs:







Cute. And I can't stand it. ;)

Tardiness 101

I sat in the backseat of the car, my sisters beside me. I pressed my face on the window, looking out and gazing down the long line of cars ahead of us and the other long line behind us. Stuck. How the hell am I going to get to school now? No, that's wrong. The real question is, WHEN will I ever get to school?

It was a nightmare being crammed like sardines in the backseat while I knew the clock was ticking away. You know that feeling when you're in a bad (terrible, in this case) situation but you can't do anything so you stay there helpless, watching and waiting for a miracle? That was how I felt. I kept grinding my teeth, clenching and unclenching my fists, crossing my fingers, taking deep breaths, jiggling my foot impatiently, clearing my throat, praying for a miracle, and practically wanting to bang my head on the window and burst out of the car and march straight to school. Forget getting hit by a car.

"They're not letting us pass!" wailed my youngest sister. She looked at our driver. "Mang Claro, please...blow the horn now! It's so unfair!" Then she went, "What's the time now? I'm late, I'm late! My teacher will get mad!"

I wished she would stop complaining. It didn't help. It made everything more nightmarish.

Heck. How long still am I supposed to wait? I absolutely cannot be late. When I was in the 1st and 2nd year a typical day for me would be half-running, half-walking to class, with barely a minute left. Now that I'm in 3rd year, I had made a resolution: never, ever be late, even once. For the last couple of weeks, ever since the first day of school, I hadn't been late, not even once. It could have been a world record if it had gone on for a month.

But sadly, no record for me. I was going to be late, no matter how much I do tons of positive thinking and crossing of fingers.

I am so dead.

Finally, after what seemed like a million years, we were in school. And so continued my race against time. After almost two years of nearly being late (and really being late), I was no stranger to the rigors of beating the dreaded ringing of the school bell. Run (it's okay to trip at times) and still be able to keep your composure. Smile and show the the world you don't care at all. (Okay, that's not what I do. But still...)Make sure at least one foot, or any other part of the body is already inside the classroom when the bell rings.

Ah, the joys of tardiness! Hey, at least you get some exercise.

So I was running, stumbling, panting. I walked past the classrooms and saw all the students lined up already outside for the flag ceremony. It was about to start.

And I was late. Again.

My new resolution now: Never ever be late TWICE. Once is okay, but not twice. Maybe that could be my world record instead.

Randomness: Babbling Nonsense

I honestly don't know what to write about right now. My mind is just blank. No flashes of inspiration, no lightbulbs (you know that lightbulb on top of people's heads, in comics?). So I'm just stuck.

I've kind of read once that if faced with a writer's block, one should just write anything that comes into their mind. Write away, and soon ideas will be coming out like a fountain.

So now I'm here trying hard. I'm really supposed to go off to bed now, especially since my dad's gonna burst at any moment. And tomorrow it's school again. I haven't even started packing my things.

Today's father's day. (Right?) We've just greeted papa, and had shown him a couple of videos (all day mama had bugged me to finish them and show them to everyone. Whew...).

Hershey (our new shihtzu) is so adorable! He's panting on the floor, playing with a ball, and half-annoying, half-charming us. He really looks like a rag right now, so I might step on him. Sometimes I think our floor is so clean because he mops it with his fur (so long and thick). I don't think the poor dog could even see at all.=)

Today was just like any other day. Sunday, at home, doing homework, procrastinating. Oh, and eating. Lots of it. At school I only eat during recess and lunch, and then the whole afternoon I starve (no allowance yet! =D). But on weekends it's heaven. On a Saturday I sit, eat, watch TV, sit more, Net, eat more,laze around. Sunday's when I finally get the strength to do my homework (often doing it when 6:00 pm comes). That's only when the haze in my brain fades away and I face the reality that tomorrow's back to school and no eating at every moment anymore. Sigh.

Tomorrow's another fresh, blank page to write on.

Oops, papa calls me again. Warningly. So I think I better go now. It wouldn't be wise to disobey ;).

Babbling's over. At least I've written something.